She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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