Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I currently don't understand fingers.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
