Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
