I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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