I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
It's not a walk of shame if you run
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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