Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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