So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
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