I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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