i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
