Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
