I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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