lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
