I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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