i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Drunk is a universal language darling
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