remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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