You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
