How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
