Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
