At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
