Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
