he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
