We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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