apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
