Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Did I show you my penis last night?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
