I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
