dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
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