why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
