i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
