i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
