my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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