I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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