He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
