i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
