do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
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