he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
