We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
