o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
