It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
