I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
