I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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