wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
