I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Randomize
