Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
