My first STD was from a foam party
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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