no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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