I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
