My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
