**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
