be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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