Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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